Being a Chef is not always as glamorous as it seems to most people!

Being a Swiss-trained Chef,  I have been in restaurant and hotel kitchens since the age of 16, so when I hear about famous chefs committing suicide such as Anthony Bourdain just a few days ago, Benoit Violier in 2016, Homaro Cantu in 2015, Bernard Loiseau in 2003 and a few years ago a Swiss Chef Alfred Luescher who worked for me as a Sous-Chef in Santo Domingo, I know very well what they went through to bring themselves to an end their own lives. I had my taste of the stress and pressure this profession can cause, however, I was lucky enough not to get into too many depression modes over the years, my wife told me, coming home after a stressful day, “It’s only a job it’s not worth killing yourself over it”, well that was always easier said than done!

To Be The Best

I always tried and pushed myself to be the best at what I was doing, I kept telling myself if I was going to pursue this profession I might as well be the best I could be. I wasn’t interested in working in a mass production facility, a large hotel, or a food service company, I tried all of that and to me, it was just a job with not too much pride in pumping out meals, I always preferred to work in a smaller establishment where I could create and offer the type of food that I would enjoy eating myself when I take my wife out for dinner.

Creating, Cooking, and observing the Customers

I loved going into the walk-in refrigerator with a notepad and creating my specials right inside the walk-in ref. for that same evening with products that were just delivered! At Cafe Septembers in Fort Lauderdale, a 40-seat restaurant, the menu was created on daily specials, that is also where I introduced Nouvelle Cuisine to South Florida after a two-month journey to Europe. I came back to South Florida with my head full of ideas and innovations, ready to go!

Cafe September – Fort Lauderdale

Steve, the owner, came to me in the beginning, before we opened, and handed me the cookbook from the International Culinary Competition during which the American Team won, and said he wanted that to be the menu for this restaurant! I looked at him with my mouth open in disbelieve that he would even consider that to be a possibility; it takes months to establish which dishes to consider to enter into a competition and then hours to prepare those dishes, just as I had to do in the Dominican Republic, were together with my crew, won the first prize of the culinary competition three consecutive years; not feasible for this restaurant with one assistant in that small Kitchen, actually smaller than the household kitchen! it didn’t take me long to talk him out of it! Besides the specials and the a la carte menu, the waiters always came up with their menus, and special requests from the customers, there was absolutely nothing I refused to cook upon request by the waiter or the customer in that restaurant if the product was on hand of course, which added to the pressure and self-inflicted stress.😀

That was the beginning of the pressure!

After a few weeks we started to receive accolades and recognition in local publications, I was on local cooking shows, featured in the Miami Herald, Sun-Sentinel, etc., and rated as one of the best restaurants in the USA, according to the Chaine des Rotisseurs.  What added to the pressure at Cafe September (and Hot Chocolates) was the fact that the kitchen was open to the dining room and customers sat only a few feet away from the open kitchen, therefore there was a lot of personal interaction with the dining customers and pressure to do your very best since you are looking at the paying customer eating your food in front of you; folks like Ringo Starr, Barbara Bach, George Benson, and  Robert Vaughn just to mention a few. During the 5 1/2 years at Cafe September, I was admitted once to Holy Cross Hospital for what seemed like a nervous breakdown, the doctors didn’t find anything wrong with me, but I remember my stomach felt like there were a thousand snakes inside of me fighting with each other! I still feel the pain today! It was a busy nite and the waiters drove me crazy with special requests one after the other, and since I am not a screaming, yelling maniac in the kitchen (especially in an open kitchen) I kept the rage and anger inside of me which caused the snakes in my stomach to go crazy. Another possible cause for my admittance to the hospital was the lack of proper nutrition; starting the working shift at 1 pm, leaving my house to drive to Fort Lauderdale, arriving at the restaurant at around 1:45 pm, then diving right into the prepping, getting ready for 17:30 service, there was little time to have a proper dinner before service, it was always a snack, or a fast bite to eat standing up!

Hot Chocolates – Fort Lauderdale

Hot Chocolates also had a wide-open, long cooking line exposed to the dining room creating interaction with the customers. I was always a hands-on Executive Chef, working on the line with my guys controlling the orders, and cooking at the same time, here it happened on a busy Saturday nite, stressed out to serve the food properly and on time to a full dining room with my crew of 6, I was hot, sweating and exhausted and I felt like I was going to faint, my partners, Richard and Steve, called the ambulance to get me to a hospital, but after checking me out again, they couldn’t find anything wrong! I guess it was another stress attack!

The conclusion is if you are thinking of getting into this Profession always remember these 5 points:

1. Take care of your body by eating the right food
2. Stay away from alcohol and smoking as much as possible
3. Spend as much time as possible outdoors ie. jogging, walking, going to the beach, etc.
4. Exercise a lot!
5. If you spent as much time in the walk-ins as I did, always wear the proper clothes, and protect your neck & shoulder by wearing a chef scarf – otherwise, when you reach a certain age you will feel the pain!

If you are experiencing mental health issues or suicidal feelings contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or BeyondBlue 1300 224 636. If it is an emergency please call 000. 

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